


River's adventure in the civil war

by Fandommember



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Civil War, Gen, History Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-23 13:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandommember/pseuds/Fandommember
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River takes a bet with Jack, and River takes him up on it. River ends up having to sneak into a confederate camp near Gettysburg, a few days before the famous battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a boring day in the year 5120 when Captain Jack came up to River and asked, “have you ever been into a confederate camp from the first American Civil War”. 

“No, but it sounds interesting. I could get in and out very easily”. 

“I have a bet, that you could not walk into the camp outside Gettysburg on the 30th of June in 1863 dressed as a northern women, and armed only as people armed themselves at the time.”

“Sounds tempting, what would the wager be? I don't have all day, the doctor is planning to come and take me to go and see the giant asteroid crash that created the moon.”

“A threesome?”

“Something more interesting, I don't share him ever”

Jack thought for a moment and said, “I can give you a perception filter that he will be unable to break.”

River thought about that offer, it might be fun to double back on her timeline and watch some of there previous intimate moments. “You have a deal, but don't make it to easy. I don't want to get board”


	2. Chapter 2

River decided that she would make it harder than necessary for herself since it probably would be an easy challenge. She went to June 25th, and planned to go and get all the materials she needed illegally, and to walk to the confederate camp. 

She went to a camp several miles away from her destination, and stole some clothing from the washer-women It was ugly, brown and let her show very little of her cleavage. It also would be hard to fight in. Sighing she returned it and went to go and look for something more to her taste. 

What she found was some basic over dress, and some cotton trousers. She cut the trousers to mid-way up her calves, and donned them. Then she looked at the dresses. Most were not to her taste. She needed to flout her feminine form and be able to be very physically active. After searching to no avail, she took one of the gowns, and cut the arms off. Deciding that if anyone asked she could say she gave them to help prevent the bleeding of one of the troops fighting in battle. 

She secured her hair with some old fashioned feminine spy pins that were actually daggers that she had found on one of her many digs. Then she stole a sword from the armory. The one she choose was cavalry saber, made for heavy cavalry to use from horseback. With that she made for the edge of the union camp. 

Once she got there a guard took her aside, “Mam, you don't want to go out there at this time of night. Those confederate bastards will find you and kill you”

“I'll be fine.”

“I doubt it. They are fierce. I can call a friend to cover the gate so I can go with you.”

“Bless you, but that wont be necessary. Here have some meat.” With that she pulled two of the seven daggers from her hair, and threw them at the squirrels running around a good distance away. She went, collected the meat, and then gave it to the gate guard. “Cook it first. I doubt you have eaten meat in a long time.”

“But mam, we aint supposed to forage. We gots to bring it ourselves. Captains orders.”

“Well then, tell the captain a lovely lady brought you some meat. You never need say she killed it for you.”

“Thanks, and good luck on your travels.”

 

She walked and walked and walked. After a while she got board and with one of her knives she picked up a piece of branch and began whittling as she walked. Her mind on the forest, fingers carving wood, and feet making way she traveled a good two miles to a town. In that town River stopped by in the bar, carefully placing her carving into her pocket. It had been a skill he had taught her, how to carve wood, without looking or thinking about it. As she brought it into the light she saw that her fingers had been making a wooden version of the doctor. She placed it in her pocket, and decided to finish it once she had some free time. At the pace she was making she would make the camp two days before Jack. It would do no good if she got board, and she refused to travel in time to the camp to make it easy. 

Once she entered the bar she walked around the edges, and saw a rich man flirting with someone who was obviously not his wife since he kept glancing at the back door to where the lavatory must reside. She daintily pulled out his wallet, stole some cash, and returned the pouch without half of its cash. 

Once that was done she went around to the back of the bar and stole some very sharp knives and some sheathes to wear them in hidden spots on the body. With that she was walking around when she was a brawl had begun inside the tavern. Her mind went, “what the hell” and she waged in, determined to show off, and to stop the fight. Once she got to the center she found that the man whom she had pick pocketed was beating up the two ladies who had been siting near him. Her thoughts were to just leave, but she saw how they cowered, and decided to help. 

Moving in she kicked the man quickly in he shin, then in the gut. She then saw that he had a small blade in his hand. Not wanting to be outfought she took out on of hers that she had just stolen. 

He began to taunt her, thinking that she was a simple girl here to defend her relatives. He teased, “Once yous battered an' broke, what you gonna do.”

She replied, speaking with flawless grammar and articulation, “Well for starters, that would mean you won. Which is highly unlikely considering who I am. Also you seem to think that I am here for personal reasons. Wrong, I am here because you slander these two women, cheat on your wife, and beat your servants judging by the bruises on your palm.”

The man looked startled as they circled each other in fighting stances, “Who are yee. I know every lass who lives in this county, and yee aint one o'them. Also I never hit nobody. Yee a lass, and lasses aint bread to fight. Fightings a mans work.”

River considered how wrong this was. While she replied “I am the champion of the entire xMassachusetts fighters, men's and womens' divisions. I also am not from around here. I came through on a journey a friend suggested on a bet”, and with that she had used her knife to attack meticulously, and disarmed him. After that she sheathed her knife. She turned around to tend to the injured women, not expecting him to take his defeat likely. 

Taking “advantage” of this opening he attempted to jump on her back. Instead he ended up face first on the ground. River standing next to him after sweeping his legs out from under him as he rushed her. She then leaned down, pulling one of her razor sharp ladies knives form her hair and laying it against his throat. With that she whispered into his ear, “now, be nice, or when I get back I will kill you. I've killed before, you will just be one more on a record of the many I have killed for justice. Now be a good boy and run along.”

When she got off him her stood up, glanced at her, then ran out of the tavern. She offered the two ladies her hand, and helped them to their feet. The thinner of the two said, “yee be a troublesome lass. He'll find yee and kill yee for having the gall to stand up to him.”

The other added in, “No one ever stands in, all they do is stand aside as he attacks everyone.”

River decided to help the two to their homes, and to give them each some of the stolen money from earlier. 

Outside she took each aside and gave them eighty dollars total, forty each, a combination of what the man had been carrying, what else she had stole, and what money of her own she had on her. With that they thanked her and went on their way. She had originally thought to stay the night in town, but after the fight she decided a nice night camping would probably be better than more challenges from townsfolk. She had to focus on what Captain Jack was preparing for her to face.


	3. Entering the Camp

River planned to just walk into the camp armed to the teeth, and demand Jack's trials so she could get the perception filter. Jack had a different idea; River would have to get through a intricate set of trials. Jack hoped that these challenges would challenge her mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

River had a mostly uneventful walk to the camp. It was a relief after being enclosed in Stormcage for such long periods of time. By noon of the 30th of June River was a mile away from the camp. She planned to enter the at dusk. She took out her weapons, and she cleaned them so they would work at top efficiency.

She took her 1861 Springfield rifle-musket and cleaned the barrel. Then she made a target 525 metres away at the maximum range of the rifle. She carefully checked her aim and shot the centre of the target five times. Once she went and checked her aim she found that all five shots clustered around the target a few inches above the centre. 

After that she took out and cleaned her two handguns; she had a Colt model 1860 army revolver and Remington revolver, both of which were accurate for the time period and did not jam often. She moved to a spot around fifty metres from several trees, and shot one bullet at each, carefully hitting each at exactly where she was aiming. 

After that was done she took out two of her four five pound grenades of the era. She empties one of them, and then and added some powered to change the explosion from a giant bang to a large ploom of foul smelling smoke. She had chosen the additions to them so that it would all gather in a large terribly smelling cloud that would not leave for two weeks no matter what. 

Once that was done she replaced everything she had out, and removed all the blades on her person. Once her sword and all her knives were laid on the ground she removed her whetstone and checked each. Her sword, a steel saber was quite sharp, so she re-sheathed it. She ran the whet stone over all the knives she deemed dull, and then made sure each was safely in its sheath. She kept two knives, and threw them at the trees nearby. The first hit a knot in the wood and bounced off, but the second lodged in the bark. 

River went over and carefully removed the blade from the tree. She then adjusted the sheath of her brass mounted Bowie knife, the popular period dueling knife, so that it sat on her right hip. She then placed her saber on the other hip. Once that was done she replaced the other twelve knives over her body; two were on her forceps with easy releases, two in each boot, one on her back, four in her hair, and one sheathed to the small of her back. She then placed her pack containing all her supplies on her back, strapped on her two handguns to her thighs, and placed her rifle on her back. With all that done so that her movement was not hindered. 

River began at a modest pace since she wanted to be able to maintain her energy. She continued to the camp, but she stopped at the edge of the tree belt where she could formulate a plan to enter the camp. She could just walk in since she was not a union solider, but that would be way to simple. 

The best way to enter she decided was to just stroll into the camp. She hated the idea of just walking in, but if she did anything else she might get shot. 

Walking up to the closest guard she decided that she would go up, and swear at the guard in passing from a place where he wouldn't see her. 

When the guard saw a shadow come close to the camp he called out. “Who goes there. Be yee friend or foe”

River replied, “A friend of a friend”. 

The guard thought a moment, and stated “So be yee a turncoat, or a union spy.”

“No, I am a friend who means you know harm. I am here to see the captain.”

With that she walked by, with very little trouble. Since he was one of those who knew that a stranger would be coming at some point that evening to see Captain Jack.


	4. Captain Arnold

When River found Jack she found that he had set up a table for her to sit at so that they could discuss the trade of the perception filter. Jack had set up a table, two chairs, and a glass of what looked to be water for each of them. 

After sitting down River asked, “so, what do you want me to do for this perception filter.”

Jack replied, “I have a few tasks, but first you should refresh yourself since your travels might have left you thirsty.” River considered refusing to drink what was before her, but jack was a friend, so he would not put anything poisonous in her drink. Knowing Jack, River decided that it was most likely alcohol, and that that would be safe to drink a little of. After taking a sip, she knew she was correct.

Jack smiled as River drank the water, since Jack had decided to be nice and not attempt to get her drunk for this mission. Once she was finished he said, “First you need to go and win a sword fight with the captain of the company in that fort over there.” River stood, and walked to the tent. 

Inside was a large muscled captain, who turned around to face her. He glanced at her, his eyes not even really seeing the weapons. All he saw was a woman, and since he thought she was not a threat, he turned back to his work. River angered slightly, she knew that this man thought poorly of her, but he should at least talk. After standing and waiting for five minutes with no response, River removed one of her knives, and threw it so that it ended up making a hole in his hat. 

He looked up and saw that she was still waiting. River began to talk, “My friend Jack said we were going to have a sword fight.” The captain looked startled, and replied, “He mentioned I would be having a sword fight with one of the best in the world. Women can't fight, so it is obviously not you.”

His comment reminded River that the time period was mid civil war and revealed that Jack had obviously not mentioned she was a woman. She replied, “I am that swordsman. Just because I am a woman, doesn't mean I can't win at a sword fight.” He looked up and studied her, “It would be impossible for you to win, you lack muscles, guts, and fierceness.” River just want to get the sword fight out of her way, so she replied, “even if you think that I still seek to fight you” and drew her sword.   
The peel of the sword being drawn startled him, so that he actually looked at her for the first time. 

What he saw was frightening, a woman who had something her that was frightening, two handguns, two rifles, a sword, and several knives. He finally stood, and motioned for River to come with him into the practice area. 

The two opponents readied to fight. River stretching, and removing all the unneeded weapons from her person. Captain Arnold, took out his sword and did the most complex sword moves he could think of to loosen his body for the coming fight. River carefully watched all the moves he was doing. Some of her other opponents from other time periods had had the same strategy. She knew that he was trying to intimidate her with his better blade skills, but in truth he was doing her a favour, letting her see a bit of his style, without having to watch her own form as she fought. 

River and Arnold stepped into the circle to begin fighting. Jack arrived, to see the two fight. As River began to move in a circle, looking for an opening, Arnold just blundered forwards. River dodged to the left, used her sword to parry the blow. She continued to match his blows with more force than necessary for a while. After four minutes River turned offensive. She used heavy chops that required a lot of muscle to block. As soon as she saw his arms begin to weaken, she hit his blade out of his hand. Then did a quick medieval sword move called the butterfly, where she whipped her blade around at lightning speed, her sword ending up less than a centimetre from his throat.

River then took a step back, and said, “now Captain Arnold, I can add you to the list of supposed great swordsmen, who failed to beat me. Lets see who else is on that list; King Arthur the great, Robin Hood the thief, Japanese Shogun Taijun, General George Washington, Emperor Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, and a plethora of others.”

Captain Aronld's only response was to grunt and mumble into the dirt, “well at least i'm not the only fool in the universe.”


	5. brawl and the camps medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River gets into a brawl and then has to help out with medicine.

River was on her way back to Jack when a group of seven confederate soldiers ran up on her from behind. On tripped on her and said “well get out of the way. Women don't have a place in a war camp after dark wanderin around.” River shoved him off her and said “I might be a women, but that doesn't mean I can't protect myself. Go away.” The soldier said, “Ill help you to your tent, and perhaps stay a while.” 

River was furious and punched him in his balls. She they quickly released two of her sheathed knives and held them so none of the men could see them. On of the ones from behind jumped to grab her back. River's training kicked in and she turned as her knives went out and he tore a large hole in the man's clothes. The cut also left a small scratch on the man's skin. Upon seeing their wounded friend three others ran to River to fight her. The first to reach her was a young male of about eighteen. He attempted a leg sweep as the other two went around River to find her blind side 

River had braced herself and kicked the young man down to the ground as she turned and rolled out of the way of one of the other knives. While she was busy rising to get back at her attackers a large hand grabbed the back of her shirt to hold her. Writhing and turning around she found a man who she identified as the head doctor by the grim look on his face and his bloodstained hands. He said, “Now be yee the lass who the good capt'n said would come help me. He said that yee would be outside Capt'n Arnold's tent.” 

River looked up relieved that she could now get back to her bet with Jack. She replied, “Jack never said what to do when finished. I was on my way back to him when that man tripped on me. He then proceeded to insult me. I lashed out as any female warrior would when being harrased and assaulted by a man's so called friends.”

“These young 'uns are supposed to be sleep or on watch. Theres a storm abrewing since we are so close to the lines of the Union.” 

River replied with a “Yeah, there is a battle soon.”

The man replied “Since you know Capt'n Jack could yee tell me somethin'. We win the war right. Jack wouldn't say.” River tried her best not to give anything away in her facial expression. These men would probably all die soon, and she couldn't do anything about it. She also couldn't say that they would loose since that would make them loose their spirit and perhaps surrender earlier, changing history. The only thing she told the man as he walked with her to the Doctor's tents was “both sides loose in a way. More than that I can't say since I don't want to tell you to much. All I can say is that both sides fought for what they believed was right.” 

When they reached the tents where they were to work they found a large mass or bodies on the side, graves still hadn't been dug for some of the dead, and that was affecting everyone's mood. Surrounding the piles of the dead were half dead men, drinking and waiting for it to be their turn for their suffering to be relieved and for them to pass into the void. Many more lay in makeshift beds suffering from infected wounds, typhoid, tuberculosis, malaria, and pneumonia. 

River didn't know what to do. Doctors were hacking off limbs, not cleaning tools, and rushing through procedures. River saw one man brought in with a bullet in his upper thigh. Upon seeing that it would be impossible to remove all that was done was that he was given alcohol to numb the pain and wait for death. 

River decided to go help get rid of the dead. She and a team of ten other volunteers placed several corpses on a cart and hauled that to a place under some trees. She would have preferred to burn them, but that might alert the other side to their were abouts. Since she didn't want to pollute the drinking water that these people were drinking with whatever diseases these people had she decided to bury them. Resigned she took out a shovel and began digging a mass grave under the trees. When the others questioned her all she said was “Its better than leaving them out in the open”. 

With that the others helped dig the mass grave and bury the rest of the bodies. With that they returned to the Doctor's tents where River went to work, help those in need the best she could.


	6. Ingenious impressive title

River worked with the injured for several hours. Stitching wounds, cutting of injured limbs, and out the dead bodies. It was around dawn when she got tired of helping. She was there to get a perception filter from Jack, not to bathe injured soldiers.

River left the medical area and made her way to where she had last seen Jack. The man was still there, playing cards with a few fellow soldiers. River snuck up behind him, and laid her sword on his back. She then commented, "Jack, cheating at cards again. Very nasty habits don't break do they. Come lets leave these poor soldiers alone as we go talk business. If not I'll stab you through with this sword. Numerous times."

With that Jack raised himself from the bench, and tossed in his cards "Here. I've got to go dance a few sets with this lady."

River shoved him playfully countering "Shush jack, or my husband will do worse than kill you."

"Fine. He actually would. He's got a jealous streak a mile long accompanied by a very long memory. I doubt want to have to go back to the likes of volcano day in Pompeii again. Once was quite enough thanks."

"Move it flirt."

With that the two walked outside the tent and then the encampment all together. Once they got to a small clearing a half mile away from the encampment River turned sword in hand. She proceed to cut a long tear down the flesh of his arm. She then turned the other direction and aimed to cut off his vortex manipulator, but when she was fully rotated he was already blocking that strike with his sword. After the block Jack lunged forward to attempting to slash River's side, but she was effortlessly out of the way as he stumbled forward. River then further helped him fall by shoving him over her leg.

Jack panted and began circling his opponent. He whipped sweat off his brow as he spoke "Illegal move in 50th century dueling."

River's blade arched in with four rapid strokes as she replied "Yeah. We are in 19th century America. I just beat Captain Arnold in a sword match. I came here from from the prison where I have 200 life sentences for killing my husband, a crime I didn't commit."

Jack parried all her attacks and asked "I hear you killed him both in Berlin and at Lake Silencio. Which on of those are you in jail for" as he gave a few return blows.

River dodged or blacked all of his attacks while responding "Berlin was more of our first date where my dad punched Hitler in the face and then I mocked a few Nazi's. I did poison him but that was due to the fact that a collection of rogue priests had kidnapped me at birth and brainwashed me, but I gave him my remaining regenerations in order to save him once I saw through the brainwashing. I shot him at Silencio, but that was just a teselecta. Silencio is the one that they are imprisoning me for since it was a fixed point."

The pair continued hitting each other with sword blows as their conversation continued.

"But why didn't he rewrite Silencio."

"He did. That was the first time we got married and the only time he actually asked my parents for permission. You would have liked that alternate world, it had Churchill, dinosaurs, and so much more."

"What else did it have?"

"A few mass murders who tried to kill me Jack the ripper, Billy the kid, and this guy named Stephan Moffat. Oh and you were the famous inventor of the blow job."

Jack proceed to ask more questions into that parallel universe, which River answered with short answers, her attention more on the fight than the conversation.

River saw an opportunity and took it. She ducked and slammed the flat of her sword on his knee cap. She then drew a dagger as she went into hilt to hilt. They struggled for a few moments each trying to make the other submit with their weight until River drove the dagger into his spine. Effectively immobilizing him.

With that River held out her hand "Perception filter."

Jack handed it over with a sigh "Are you sure that you don't want a threesome."

"Jack, the threat about throwing you into a volcano still stands. Though I might change it and help trap you somewhere else."

"Where else. The center of the earth? I'd escape eventually."

"No. I was thinking Pandorica's Box."

"River. That isn't real."

"It is real enough. I distinctly remember my husband taking me a few time against that box." and with that, River yanked the dagger out of Jack's spine and left using her own Vortex manipulator.


End file.
